Monday, January 31, 2011

Update on Drunken Cycling Wolf Story.............

We have discovered the identity of this pesky animal. He hangs out on the Malecón but during the day he disguises himself to be virtually unrecognisable by wearing sheep's clothing and he takes on a chummy demeanor.

Our photographer risked life and limb to capture these two images :

One while the wolf was about to collapse at the bar -
 red-eyed and vicious (approach with caution whilst in this state and contact this little known but well meaning local association that does good things - Treating Real Everyday Violence.

An the other while he was sober -
meek and friendly

Our model is wearing T shirts we are thinking of printing to celebrate this curious and dangerous animal:

All you Drag Queens who want Bigger Badonkadonks!

Fredericks of Hollywood Spring catalogue tell you how to get that perfect rear end. Prompts me to suggest that in those days they would turn and ask friends "Does my bum look small in this?"

Waaaaaaaay cheaper than than J-Lo's ass.

Drunken Wolf on a Bicycle Roams Calle Baltazar Izaguirre Rojo Shouting Abuse at Houses

Last night our sharp-eared reporters heard reports of a drunken, ousted from society, misfit wolf cycling down Calle Baltazar Izaguirre Rojo loudly shouting abuse at houses in an accent that sounded to have originated from somewhere in the southern hemisphere. Judging by his bellowing rants he has a dislike for women and so-called 'fuckin' poms'. (poms must be a derogatory term for a group of people or nation used by another nation that was once part of the abused nation - or something like that!)

Obviously sometime previously this wolf had been barred from the premises of fine upstanding residences and bars and clubs for drunkenness and unsavory behaviour towards women. It seems he continues to haunt the nighttime streets of Centro in an inebriated state riding his bicycle taking his frustration out on bricks and mortar.

The methods used by this wily character is to charm himself into unsuspecting establishments and take up residence until he is eventually inevitably turfed out into the street.

Lucky we all live in houses built of brick.

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