Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Almost Wants To Make You Leave This Society Of Rubbery Cheese.

Our food expert Paul 'Naughty Boy' Hisson knows a thing or two about cheese as he said here in his native tongue  "Je sais une chose ou deux sur le fromage" 
(I know a thing or two about cheese) and found that here in 


Mazatlán you can buy about three cheeses - two made of rubber and one not.  He goes on "ici, vous pouvez acheter trois fromages abriqués à partir de caoutchouc et l'autre pas." (Here you can buy about three cheeses....etc etc)




With that great piece of detection from Monsieur Hisson we sent him on his way. But what wouldn't we give for some really great stinky cheese like the world's smelliest from Northern France, a soft cheese Vieux Boulogne

Vieux Boulogne


I wonder if this English cheese called Stinking Bishop has a smell or not?  Sounds better in French puante évêque.The English even got a beer called Bishop's Finger. 



One of the oldest types of cheese in the world and most odoriferous, is this Stinking Bishop which dates back to the time of the Cictercian monks. It’s produced out of pasteurised Gloucestershire-cow’s milk and then washed with Stinking Bishop Pear juice, which makes the rind orange and really sticky.

Pont l’Eveque - My God, this is a real mordant stinker and it's mighty pungent as well. You gotta keep it 
wrapped real tight otherwise the Health and Safety will come bearing down with lights flashing to take you 
and your cheese away and dump you both in the middle of The Sargaso Sea like the Phoenix Az. authorities do to foreign looking people.

A this tarty number that has been banned from French public transport networks,  Epoisses.




That crazy man Napoleon loved it and he also loved the unbathed smell of his mistress 



when he came back from his campaigns of killing lots of foreign peoples 

and taking over their countries. He would send word a few months in 

advance of returning to Paris demanding that Josephine was not to bathe till after he got  

home. What with her smellypiquant  aroma and his munching of sock-zesty cheese after steamy sex in the same room, I certainly would not want to be within a few miles of that 

pungent love-nest. Well that's the urban myth anyway. The fact is that underarms in those days were called 'spice boxes' and some women would walk around with slices of apples under there to add a touch of fruity fragrance. Let's hope Napoleon kept a few slices down his frontage. 

The sexy young dictator brooding, presumably pissed off that his cheese supply is delayed by his conquering of those pesky Prussians or Josephine smells like lavender


Enjoy this cheese if it smells like you after a long run in the heat and humidity.

So we'll just get back to our boring, tastless excuse for a cheese here in Mexico, well this part of Mexico. What's it called Chihuahua or something?


Well that's got me salivating so its Air France outta here tomorrow to where they make that epoisses or go eat a bishop and suck on his finger.

Au Revoir


*In fact Napoleon said "I will return to Paris tomorrow evening. Don't wash." And he used eight quarts of cologne for rubdowns every month. So he really wasn't all that grubby at all.




2 comments:

  1. Off to the National Wine and Cheese Festival next week in Tequisquiapan, and you can bet your broadcloth I will be hunting for smelly stinky cheese. Will I find it? Doubftul, but who knows. Maybe an errant Frenchman took a wrong turn at Mexico City and ended up here.

    ReplyDelete
  2. interesting. let me know how it went

    ReplyDelete

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