El Quelite - The pretty town that 'switches' off after you've gone. The pretty town that 'amazes your eyes'.
Herewith in anticipation the first travel report from the slightly jaundiced point of view of our new travel writer Jock Karrooac visiting a town that was chosen as 'best day trip' from that other illustrious mag.
"If you like to visit an Mexican town that could be the setting out of a Hollywood movie whose producers think real Mexico looks like this town with sweetly smiling local residents sitting on their verandas in rocking chairs waiting to be photographed by the tourists. If you like waiters in aprons jumping out of nowhere offering menus from their restaurants, teenagers dressed up and painted like Ulama players asking for money even before they have played a game (it is best to demand they play a game before you give them money as they could be cheeky kids in fancy dress. I did ask for a demonstration and they turned on their heels and instead stuck their hand into the face of a surprised Japanese lady who immediately placed an unaccustomed amount into the open palm.)
If you like to see lads sitting on the backs of patient donkeys giving them a damn good whipping to impress the visitors whilst the little muchachos shove their open hands into your face demanding money. If you want all this then this is the place to go.
|Young lad on a rolling-eyed donkey or horse or mule yanking on the reins from a halter mouthpiece that would be banned anywhere in the world to the delight of a very happy tourist.|
|Another young lad getting ready to whip the photographer if he fails to give him money.|
|A shy local hiding behind his door.|
Have your 'eyes amazed' [sic] by the cobbled streets, nicely painted coloured buildings with shady verandas, bright flowers in pots and out of pots climbing up exteriors -
Amaze your eyes on a cathedral off the plaza, visit ladies who pick stones out beans [sic], stand and gawp at sweating peasants digging into the hard rocky ground to plant their beans outside town, eat in a couple of typical restaurants, buy tortillas in a hand-made tortilla making shop (better ones can be had in downtown Mazatlán) taste cheese in a cheese shop (damn good cheese) and check out a honey shop and watch groups of bored teenagers sitting all over the plaza chortling under their hands at the outsiders wandering aimlessly around.
|Toddler disappearing into a dark doorway.|
I came to the conclusion that the locals who live in El Quelite get as much pleasure from looking at tourists as the tourists do of looking at 'typical' Mexicans therein. So please get yourselves up there for the benefit of the gringo gazers in that little town. They need our money to sit around on their rocking chairs or to whip their donkeys or paint up as Ulama players for the benefit of us visitors. The Queen of England serves the same purpose after all as does the soon to be royal wedding we are getting so hot under the collar about.
But I think you will agree with me if you have seen Yul Brynner in the film Westworld that those very real Mexican people are 'switched' off to save their batteries when the tourists leave town."
|Cheese shop veranda|
|Photographer pursuing a local man in a hat.|
|Dusty Jock and his sidekick enjoying a meal at a restaurant off the main street. Not El Meson de los Laureanos. The eejit has forgotten the name of this one but it served damn tasty food. It's up the main street and to the right at the end of town.|
|Fresh milk for the cheese factory.|
Our man Jock was last seen being chased without his pants and wearing one shoe into the hills surrounding El Quelite after really pissing off the tech guys who did the 'switching off' when he was seen hiding in a doorway hoping to get to the bottom of the false atmosphere in that town. We do suggest however that a visit to Copala will provide a better experience but more on that later when we locate 'Dusty' and brush him off if he hasn't already kept running back to South Africa.
Note : The views of our new travel writer Jock Karrooac in no way mirror those of the MazReal proprietors.
© 2011 All Images MazReal Publications